


Reckless

by way1203



Series: The Fucking Ferry Fustercluck Fiasco [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Hurt Peter Parker, Mentions of previous MCU events, Parent Tony Stark, Parental Tony Stark, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Poor Peter Parker, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Being Tony, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark-centric, Tony realizes that he sees Peter as his kid, Worried Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-15 03:56:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14151405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/way1203/pseuds/way1203
Summary: The kid was his kid in his eyes, and Tony really didn’t want to admit it at first. He fought against the need to protect Peter Parker. He fought against the loving swell he felt in his chest when the kid looked at him with that huge grin and those innocent eyes. But eventually, he couldn’t fight it anymore.After the ferry incident, Tony heads home to think about what just happened and what Peter means to him, and realizes that he sees Peter as his son.





	Reckless

**Author's Note:**

> Wow. I'm so thankful for how well Teary-Eyed was received. 120 kudos in 24 hours is a record for me. Thank you all. I wanted to write a section about Tony in the aftermath of it all. Plus, a few people asked for Tony's side, so I went for it. Instead of posting it as a chapter, I decided to do it as its own one-shot. 
> 
> If you haven't read Teary-Eyed, I recommend you check it out then come back to this one. I hope it captures Tony-esque thoughts.

Tony looked at the kid. His eyes were a little too wet for his comfort level. He lifted an eyebrow. "Kid, are you crying?"  
  
Peter immediately shook his head and lowered his eyes. "N-No. I’m not-I’m not crying."  
  
Tony felt a twist in his stomach. He’d gone too far. He sniffed. "Good, cause then I’d  _really_ be my dad. Go home, kid."  
  
"Thank you for the ride, Happy. Mr. Stark, I’m sorry I let you down."  
  
He opened his mouth to reply but Peter left the car in a hurry. Tony exchanged glances with Happy. Yeah, he fucked up. He managed to hurt the kid. Tony unbuckled his seatbelt and Happy did the same, opening the car door to take his place on the passenger side while Tony moved around to the driver's seat.  
  
Peter Parker was fifteen. That was too old to cry about things, wasn’t it? Tony quickly shook the thought from his mind. Fifteen was puberty, or at least the full-blown stages of it where emotions and hard-ons were all over the place. He tried to remember how he was at fifteen and if he cried.

Yeah, he cried.

In fact, he cried  _a lot._

Being at MIT and dealing with professors and twenty-somethings while everyone else your age was still in high school was stressful. He hid it well until he was alone, then he cried like a first grader. Parker seemed like the sensitive type anyway, but he’d just had several circumstances happen to him over the last year or so that made him that much more touchy. He suddenly became an enhanced human thanks to a spider, his uncle was murdered, and his aunt was now a struggling single parent. With all those things, and being a teen, the kid had more stressors than Tony could even begin to identify. Then here comes Tony Stark with a super-suit. He exposes him to trauma outside his neighborhood—not just any trauma, oh, no, Tony had to get Peter Parker involved in the Avengers-level stuff, that advanced trauma that led to things like PTSD—and then he takes it all away and smashes his dreams.

Tony sighed.  
  
"What’s wrong?” asked Happy.  
  
"I messed up.”  
  
"With the kid? Psh, you’re damn right you did," said Happy, before adding, "If you don’t mind me saying."  
  
"I do. But you’re right. I was gonna let the kid walk home." Tony shook his head and turned a corner. "What the hell was I thinking? He wasn’t in any shape to defend himself. He would’ve gotten the shit knocked out of him for those pants alone. Which, what was that, huh? You couldn’t find anything more, I don’t know, fitting? He was drowning in that shirt."  
  
"Look, it was all they had. It was that shirt and those pants, or some toddler-sized swim trunks and a bikini set."  
  
Tony would’ve laughed but he was too deep in his thoughts. He didn’t know where to go from here with the kid. He was still new to this kid thing. He had some practice that short time in Tennessee during the whole Mandarin-Extremis debacle. He loaded Harley up with technology as a thanks for putting up with his shit. When he met Peter Parker, things were different. Tony was different. Hell, Parker was different. Tony had his assumptions when he saw the footage, but when he met the kid, Tony felt an immediate connection. There was too much of himself in the kid. Parker was him if some of Tony’s circumstances had been different. The kid had that recklessness he'd had. And it was that recklessness that led to the kid ignoring the adult and nearly getting himself and at least a hundred innocent bystanders killed. It was that recklessness that led Tony to take the suit in the first place.  
  
He pulled in and parked the car next to his others. Happy followed behind him as he headed into his home. F.R.I.D.A.Y. greeted them and Tony felt himself miss J.A.R.V.I.S. His girl F.R.I.D.A.Y. was slightly smarter than J, a little less snarky, and was all around amazing, but she wasn’t the previous AI. She wouldn’t be until Tony had built a friendship with her the way he’d built one with J.A.R.V.I.S over the course of a couple decades. It made Tony feel bad for his new AI. She really didn't deserve being second place like that.

F.R.I.D.A.Y. turned on the news and informed him that Pepper would be home late. He sighed. That was probably a good thing because he needed time to process.  
  
"...there was a great show of excellent teamwork." The news caught his attention. "In a dual effort between Iron Man and Spider-Man, the ferry..."  
  
Tony sat on the couch and ran a hand over his eyes. He wished the reporters would call it what it was: Iron Man saving Spidey’s ass. Tony saving Peter Parker from more pain than the kid realized at that moment.

* * *

Before today, before the kid, anyone who said that Tony was callous and didn’t care about others didn’t know him. Tony cared so much— _so fucking much._  Years of seeing his father put up a front and be downright horrible to people he 'loved' affected him. Hearing Howard Stark rarely say  _I love you_ sat with Tony and manifested in the younger Stark attempting to be the exact opposite of the patriarch. He hid behind a cocky, rich-boy exterior, yes, but he loved like someone who knew he’d been loved all his life. He wasn’t going to let those he cared about guess how he felt about them. His goal was to help and protect everyone he even remotely gave a damn about. 

The first was Virginia. Tony loved her. God, he loved Pepper so much. He made it a point to tell her every day or, at the very least, express his feelings for her in little ways like leaving her gifts or doing small things that made her day easier. He never took her for granted after he nearly lost her, and treasured having Pepper in his life as his girlfriend even more after that break they had.

Then there were his brothers. Tony cared so deeply about Happy and Rhodey that they'd essentially become his family. When they were hurt, he put all of his resources into making them better. He told nurses to wear badges and set the TV to PBS because he didn't want Happy to miss his Downton Abbey night. He designed braces for Rhodey and helped him with PT because he didn’t abandon him in the middle of that field and he certainly wouldn’t abandon him now. He worked intently to protect them and Pepper in the future because he couldn’t lose any of them.

Then there was Banner, the man he missed so much it physically hurt him. His science brother. They'd bonded faster and stronger than epoxy, and then Ultron happened. And then Bruce was gone. The Hulk launched into space. The ship had landed on some planet, so he knew Bruce was somewhere safe. Other than that, he didn’t know exactly where his friend was. It scared him because he couldn’t protect him. 

Now there was the kid.  
  
_His_ kid.  
  
The kid was his kid in his eyes, and Tony  _really_  didn’t want to admit it at first. He fought against the need to protect Peter Parker. He fought against the loving swell he felt in his chest when the kid looked at him with that huge grin and those innocent eyes. But eventually he couldn’t fight it anymore. Tony knew it was game over and that he couldn’t ignore the fatherly feelings for Peter Parker when he was halfway across the world and had to remotely save the kid. He knew Peter Parker wasn’t  _the_ kid so much as he was  _his_ kid the moment Tony yelled ' _because I said so!'_ and his arm began to hurt the way it did when he was slightly stressed. That pain had little to do with his heart and more to do with his injuries from when Bucky wrecked him. At least that’s what he told himself because he refused to believe it could be from the suit controls he embedded in his arm before the whole Mandarin thing. Nope, it wasn’t the tech, it was Barnes. That’s when it really got bad. Things didn't heal 100% because he was getting older and because he was Tony Stark and found it necessary to keep putting his arm through trauma. That pain in his nerves was tied to stress, and Tony’s stress always manifested when people he cared about were involved.

Peter Parker had become one of the people he cared about.

That kid— _his_ kid—nearly died that night. That’s why the tracker was so damn important. 

His kid nearly died tonight because he removed the tracker and got involved despite Tony’s words. He shouldn’t have made the tracker so easy to remove. He shouldn’t have made the tracker noticeable in code, maybe then he wouldn't have lost eyes on Peter in DC. Tony didn’t know this Ned kid very well but if he was as smart as Peter said—and he definitely was if he went to that school—then he was smart enough to signal Peter about the tracker. He wasn’t, however, dumb enough to remove the tracker. Peter said Ned was timid at times and a rule follower. Peter was definitely the one to rip the tracker out with Ned likely begging him not to do something so reckless.

Tony felt anger boil inside him again. He clutched his left wrist and flexed his fingers. The pain annoyed him but not nearly as much as having to save the kid earlier that evening. For a brief moment, Tony contemplating fixing himself a drink. He thought better of it. That was something his father would do, and the kid had already done enough to make him act like Howard Stark. He hated this role reversal. He supposed it’s what he deserved after years of being a bit of an asshole to his asshole father.  
  
"Here." Happy handed Tony a bottle of water. "You need it."  
  
"Thanks." He took it without debate and found himself drinking half of it quickly. He watched footage of him soldering the halves of the ferry together while Parker jumped from one side to the other.

"Thanks to Iron Man and Spider-Man—"

Tony flicked the television off in frustration. Today would go down in his memories as The Ferry Incident. No, scratch that.  _The Fucking Ferry Fustercluck Fiasco._

The kid bit off more than he could chew and people would have died had Tony not been there. Then the psychological scarring on the kid would be worth what he sustained from New York, the Mandarin-Extremis debacle, and Sokovia combined and, quite possibly, extrapolated. Tony couldn't have that. He already felt bad enough when physical harm came to the kid. Part of him still wondered if the airport fight affected the kid. Tony would be lying if he said Parker’s reaction didn’t worry him. He couldn’t forget going to tell the kid he was done and seeing him just lying there. He seriously thought the Spiderling was dead. Then Parker spazzed, his fight mode activated despite him being too beat to carry on. For a brief moment, the kid looked terrified. He wasn’t okay but Tony couldn’t have a heart-to-heart with him at that moment because he still had a few asses to kick. When all was said and done and they were back in New York, Tony didn't even give the kid the hug he thought he was receiving.

_That's not a hug. I'm just grabbing the door for you. We're not there yet._

Who says that? What kind of an asshole was he? Yeah, that settled it. When it came to the kid, he was just like his father: heartless.

 

* * *

  
Tony thought back to the car ride. Peter Asks-Too-Many-Questions-and-Never-Shuts-the-Fuck-Up Parker had been uncharacteristically quiet from the moment they left the building. In hindsight, he didn’t blame the kid. If someone had gone off on him the way he’d gone off on the kid, he’d be quiet too. Tony swore he saw evidence of him tearing up after he’d changed into that ridiculous outfit Happy brought back. He didn’t think it was possible for the kid to look any younger, but Peter did. Especially with his eyes and nose all pink like that. The look turned the kid from fifteen to five in Tony’s view, and it did a number on his heartstrings. The moment didn’t last because his anger replaced his concern when he received the suit back. If the teenager hadn’t removed the tracking device, Tony would’ve caught Peter faster and the situation wouldn’t have escalated to the ferry splitting in two.  
  
Then there was Happy siding with the kid. Now  _that_ was a wake-up call he hadn’t anticipated on having. Tony tried to back off for the rest of the trip to Queens. When Peter left the car, he knew the kid was going to cry once he got inside. He practically burst into tears when Tony called him on it. He could see them welling in the kid’s eyes when he thanked Happy and apologized to the billionaire for the tenth time.  
  
First, he dissed the hug. Next, he took his suit. Finally, he humiliated and yelled at the kid until he cried. He was Howard Stark through and through with Peter Parker and, for that, Tony felt horrible.

_I just wanted to be like you._

"Dammit!" Tony slammed the now empty bottle beside him, the plastic crunching beneath his fingers.

Happy looked up from his phone. "You okay?"

The billionaire stood and began to pace. Nervous energy surged through him. He messed up. He’d made the kid cry. Peter looked up to Tony and fawned over him. Tony Stark hung the moon with that kid and what did the billionaire do in return?

He ruined his world.  
  
He was no different than his father—the one person he actively tried not to be after years of trying to impress him and getting breadcrumbs in return. Now here he was repeating the cycle with this kid.

 _His_ kid.  
  
His kid likely went to bed and cried about everything Tony had done to him. That thought alone was enough to make his stomach drop. It reminded him way too much of his own childhood. All those nights where he and Howard got into it and Tony would head to the bathroom, take a shower, and cry his eyes out under the stream. Sometimes Edwin Jarvis would catch him crying in the kitchen in the middle of the night, give him a hug and tea, and sit with him until he'd cried himself to sleep. When Tony got older, he’d leave the house, wander the grounds, or even wander the city, all so he could cry without Howard noticing. His father was emotionally constipated, and that was a trait that Tony did everything in his power to not have.

"Fine, Hap." Tony clapped his hands together. "I'm gonna go tinker. You can do whatever it is you do."

Tony was halfway down the stairs when Happy followed him. "You look like you need someone here until Pepper comes home. I'll be quiet. You won't even know I'm here."  

Tony watched as his friend sat on a stool and looked around at the creative mess that was his garage. Dum-E 2.0 rolled over to Happy with a magazine, which the bodyguard eagerly accepted. As Happy read, Tony opened his designs for Peter Parker's newest suit. He'd planned to reward the kid for being a good neighborhood superhero. Well deserved upgrades for a job well done. Tony believed in a reward system and the kid seemed to be adapting to that system pretty well. At least until today. Now, he wasn't sure what to do.

* * *

 

Peter Parker was  _his_ kid. Tony wanted to protect him even if that meant taking away the suit. Peter wouldn’t be able to go back to fighting crime the way he was now with his homemade suit. He’d be forced to stay close to the ground. At least that’s what Tony had to tell himself because the alternative would be Peter taking on this monster with his mediocre suit and dying because of him. That would be something Tony wouldn't survive.

Especially because he hadn’t originally meant to take the suit away.

He said it in the heat of the moment, then found himself stressing the point when Peter mentioned being nothing without this suit. It reminded him too much of himself with his Iron Man marks that he snapped into over-reactive dad mode.

Peter can’t be  _nothing_  without the suit if he doesn’t  _have_  the suit, right? 

He didn’t want to follow through, but he had to. Well, he didn’t  _have_ to, but he needed to just for a short while to teach his kid that what he'd done was unacceptable. It would be just a mild grounding from superhero duties. It wouldn’t be  _forever_ like he said. It’d never be forever. Just a few days or a couple weeks, but his kid didn't know that and it showed in the way he practically sobbed his way out of the car.  
  
Tony was torn.

"You should, uh, call him...or text him," said Happy softly. "Maybe...or not...ignore me." 

"I always do." Tony shot his friend a smirk. Happy gave a small smile and rolled his eyes, returning them to the magazine.

He looked at his phone. Even though apologizing at this point was beyond necessary, he didn’t know what he’d say. He thought about stopping by the apartment but he didn't know what his response would be once he was confronted by his kid. Tony guessed he’d start with two words that almost felt meaningless to him now given how often he thought them.  _I’m sorry._

No.

 _I messed up?_ No.  
  
_Kid, things happen..._ No.  
  
_I’m sorry, Peter._  
  
Anything he said would carry an immense amount of weight if he followed it with Peter. His name was loaded and he’d have to use his kid's name in a proper apology. He didn’t want to because then he’d be verbally admitting to the Spiderling that he cared about him without actually saying it.

Tony grabbed his phone and attempted to type the words in a text. His thumb hesitated. He wasn't sure why it scared him to show his kid affection, to let Peter know he cared, but it did. It scared the shit out of him. Making Peter more than an intern, more than some random kid, and more than a Spiderling under Iron Man's care meant signing Peter up for more pain than he wanted the kid to experience. There'd be more days like this, more instances like the ferry if he joined the Avengers, more chances for Peter to be harmed because he was associated with Iron Man/Tony Stark.

Who was he kidding? It was more about the pain  _he_ would experience.

Accepting Peter as a weird kind of son to him would mean more chances for Tony to experience that crushing pain and fear like when he saw Happy in a hospital bed half-dead, helplessly witnessed Pepper fall into a fiery abyss, and waited in panic for medical help as he held an unconscious Rhodey. And, if today was any indication, he couldn't take the idea of seeing something awful happen to Peter.

He set his phone down. Happy looked up at him expectantly, wanting to know if he'd messaged the kid and if he'd righted his wrong. Tony sighed and shook his head.

"Maybe later."


End file.
